So my plans for today is to make a cup of earl grey tea because I haven’t made myself a cup for so long. Then go to the thrift store and get some books, because the arts and music festival yesterday at uni really inspired me to get some classics and I really owe myself some leisure time reading. Then go to Target for some necessities. Finally get some time to write until my hand comes off really, because I haven’t had much me time lately, and blog about my traveling plans ahead, because I haven’t written a solid entry about it since I have decided to go travel again.
I try to cover what is bearing me down by keeping myself busy, but it turns out the that the things I do to occupy myself make me just as exhausted and i want to break down.
I am always tired, busy, never feel like I do enough, and I feel emotionally hurt.
But things must be done, therefore I must pull through the night…and the week…and the next.
Making plans for my own benefit to save myself from getting hurt, because if it was worth it, the other person would be chasing after me. But the other person is not.
Making plans for my own benefit to save myself from possibly getting hurt, or making plans to ignore my feelings about something good happening?
I used to ask myself why I go for guys who have an emotional past with an ex girlfriend, and why I should avoid them. And how I’ll always run into these kind of guys and always be the fill-in girl in the meantime; the girl who wants a taste of how it’s like to be someone’s significant other (where the guy actually does LIKE me and want to be with only me).
But here’s one thing that I didn’t realize at first; pointed fact is, EVERYONE HAS A HISTORY - and it’s not my problem to try and convince these guys to like me. It’s up to them to get over it. I won’t allow myself to be that girl anymore.
So ladies and gents, if you’re going through a rut from a break up, or a could-have-been potential lover, open you eyes, because there are better people out there basically throwing themselves at you trying to get you to notice them. There will be! New things can be a good thing!
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN (*continues to sing Ellie Goulding*)
My stars might have aligned with yours at some point but I can feel them slowly parting. I wish city was outside my house. I miss soaking in all of it’s glory.
Need to move somewhere exciting again.
I did not just panic that I dyed a few of my bleach strands blue and thought of how I might have an interview in a couple of weeks and believed that KOOL AID wouldn’t come out and found out to discover that the dye didn’t even work.
Sleepless summer nights annoy me where it’s always too hot to find comfort in these sheets and when my mind over-thinks and I become doubtful of myself. I find it easier to sleep through cold nights where I can find layers that revive me and when my schedule is busier than this never ending summer.