a blessed unrest that keeps us marching

I’ve been sick the past couple of days. I’m so lightheaded but refuse to sleep. All I ever do is sleep.

i think i should stop putting effort towards your happiness. wake up already.

I have four siblings, but I’ll make this one simple.

Dear sisters,

Know that I act the way I do is to make you all happy. And thank you for believing me in when I really don’t. I’m my own worst critic. I am very blessed to be surrounded by strong women. I know all of us have our complications, but things work out. I love you all sisters, and thank you.

Love,
Linda, the baby sister

(And I know this is short but I can’t type or think that much because I’m sick D:)

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you guys. I really do, and despite all of those moments of hatred that everyone goes through with their parents, I know both of your personalities sum up to how I behave. Dad, you are the modest, silly, quiet one. I am much like you. I love you so much daddy, and I told myself once before that if I ever hurt you, that would be the death of me. I know you tell me that I can achieve anything I want, but I know deep inside how traditional you are. I just wish you would open up to me more. I want to talk about Grandma and Gramps with you, I want to know how it was like in Vietnam, you crazy ghost stories with your amigas. You are the best daddy ever.

Momma, I love you like crazy. You are the dramatic beast, and I hate how dramatic I could act and think coming from you. What I admire most about you is how strongheaded you are, how unafraid you are to speak your voice. You know what you believe in, and  I wish I was more like you on that part. Mommy, I promise everything is going to be okay, and things aren’t so bad as you think they really are. I really wish you could trust me more and know that I am 100% dedicated to school because really, I wouldn’t have a life without it, haha. I don’t want to disappoint you either, but know that my happiness counts a lot to me over traditional expectations. And Momma, take care of yourself more.

When I grow older, have my career going, and have a family, I promise you both you will be steady, happy and healthy. I want you guys to be happy. I hope you both see how my dreams and aspirations will show the best of me, and know that I love you guys to death.

But as a young adult, I really just want my freedom right now hahahaha! And stop being such bitter beasts! Bitterness is just blehck!

Love always,
Linda, the youngest.

Shall I go on a more optimistic “crush”? I think I will. Everyone has more than one crush, I assume? Like celeb crushes, etc. Anyway.

Dear Mr. Fictional (even though you’re not fictional, you really do exist in my life),

Hello. I’m sure you’ve gotten this comment more than once before, but you are just fantastic. I’m sure so many people look up to you (just as I do) and have a massive crush on you (just like me as well) but I think you’re truly too much it’s mindblowing.

I asked myself one time why did God put you into my life because you’re too impossible. Not that I don’t see or hear from you often, but when I do, I tend to crash and fall. Whenever I describe you, it takes multiple amounts of breaths to express how much of an amazing person you are. You’re extraordinary tall, you have perfect teeth, you have amazing taste in practically everything, you smile just so brightly, you have the world’s biggest heart, and you are truly truly truly optimistic. Did I mention how great your taste in music is? You are my musical soulmate. I can go on and on, but that would take forever.

You’re not a celebrity but you seem like one. You’ve made so many accomplishments in life that I hope to accomplish someday too. It gives me thrills that I’ve bumped into you and you still remember me! I make too too much of you, but that’s the result coming from an English major. I’m too much of a romantic.

But hey, I hope we get to talk someday and be real friends. I know you’re busy with your own life right now. But even though I see you, I will always have to keep one foot on the ground. I promise I won’t be bothered by relationship you’re in because really, I’m just a person you know. No hard feelings.

Best,
Linda, girl who’s been looking for a guy like you.

P.S. Whenever I’m around you, I feel like a little girl in love with you. You’re five years older than me. It’s funny how you make me feel that way. I like you regardless. :)

Dear Ana,

Besteee, the lovely rockabilly girl, you are like a sister to me. I love how we imagine how both of our lives will be later on in the future (blonde hair, teased hair, high heels, city life, music, journalism, boyfriends, all that jazz! :D) and I love how our levels of craziness seem normal for both of us. I know how many rumbles and riffs we both go through (surprisingly at the same time too), but know that I will be there by your side. You are a friend that I can completely relate to. I know I have an amazing friendship with you because we know what’s going on in our minds with just one glance, or one laughter.

It’s funny to look back at how miserable our lives were before, and seeing things now gradually growing. I’m going to miss you terribly when you’re away in England. :( Please don’t ever leave me, because I think our friendship is simply golden. I HEART YOU! <3

Love always,
Linda, the indie hipster

kiss that girl and i will shrink up
and i will die and i will think up
1,000 ways that i could hurt you
and you will never touch my hand

Studying. And an iced coffee. I eat too much during finals week. Last day tomorrow then I get to finally taste summer!